(may you) be always breathtaking
by Yun Min
Summary: She's alive. She's really actually there. And just like before, Reid can think of only one person he wants to talk to about it; Zack Addy.


** : (may you) be always breathtaking :**

_She's alive. She's really actually there. And just like before, Reid can think of only one person he wants to talk to about it; Zack Addy._

A/N: Episode tag for Criminal Minds Episode 7x01 It takes a Village. Set in my Smile at Each Other's Welcome verse, it's a partner fic to (may you) be always heartbreaking. Title again from Vienna Teng's Goodnight New York.

-x-

Ring Ring.

Reid leans against the car, clutching at his phone. Agents are milling about everywhere. Clean up will take a long time. The paperwork will be a bitch.

The flash of lights is bright, the wail of sirens loud, blaring, unbearable almost.

He catches a glimpse of Emily's raven hair. He can't believe that she is actually here, still breathing, alive, well, not buried six feet under ground.

"Spencer?"

"Hey Zack." His voice; well, it's practically giddy. But short, ragged. He doesn't really know how he feels right now. Doesn't know how to feel about any of this.

Emily's alive.

That's the main thing.

Zack picks up on it. Of course he does. He's more perceptive than anyone gives him credit for.

"What happened?"

Zack's response is quick – it's almost panicked, but Zack has this self control that Spencer has never had and manages to stop it creeping in.

"We." Reid's struggling to get the words out, struggling to decide what he wants to tell Zack, how to convey exactly how he feels. "We." This is far more difficult that he ever thought it would be. "Emily's alive."

The release is joyful. Reid looks across at her again; he can't stop himself, checking and confirming that she is still there.

Zack doesn't know what to say. He's joyful beyond words, Spencer's joy is infectious in that way. How doesn't really cross his mind; he's suspected that Emily's death was an FBI cover-up for quite some time now.

"Spencer... that's fantastic," he settles for.

"She's been in Paris all this time."

Now that Reid's started, got his news out, he finds everything flows much more freely. It unleashes like a torrent, all the things he's wanted to say but has been to busy with the case to do so.

"Hotch and JJ knew all along. They've been hiding her, all this time. We found Doyle, he's dead, she's going to be safe now."

Zack can tell there's something more. He knows how much time Spencer has spent at JJ's, knows how many phone calls Spencer has made to her at two in the morning – although Zack got the feeling he wasn't supposed to know about those. Knows how many tears Spencer has shed grieving for her loss.

"Where are you Spencer?"

"Baltimore. We'll be here a couple more hours, and then it's another hour back."

Zack thinks about it for a minute. It'll be late when they get back, sure, but not excessively so. Well, accounting for their odd hours anyway.

"I'll meet you at Quantico."

Spencer offers some vague stuttering noises of refusal, but Zack speaks again.

"It's fine. I'll bring food, if you want. Garcia will be in the office, correct?"

"Yes."

"She can escort me up to the bullpen. My details are still with the front desk, correct?"

Hotch had been very good about having Zack around, and had negotiated for him to have access to the BAU as long as he was accompanied and supervised by a member of the team. It didn't get used much, especially not for such frivolous circumstances as this, but this time; well, everything was different about this case.

"Yes. Are you sure Zack, it'll be late?

"Of course Spencer, it's the least I could do."

Reid mutters a thank you, before hanging up.

Click. End.

-x-

It is three hours later when the BAU make it back to Quantico. Everyone except JJ goes back in to the office; she escapes to go home to Henry. They all know she and Hotch will be the first ones in again tomorrow.

True to his word, when Reid comes into the BAU, Zack is sitting there waiting for him.

He gets up as soon as he and Garcia spot the BAU, and while Garcia distracts the rest of them, manages to grab Spencer.

"Hey."

It is shy, soft, from Zack.

Reid quickly finds himself in Zack's arms, accepting the comforting hug which he offers.

He'd never really understood the appeal of having someone to come home too, he after all, has never had it, never felt any particular need for it, but he's starting to get used to Zack being there, to be greeted, having that sense of welcoming comfort. Someone who he can air his worries too.

They stay that way, wrapped in each other for a little longer than what is really commonly accepted as a friendship hug. And even when they part, they stay close.

"I brought food."

Zack spoke quietly, more to Spencer than the rest of the BAU, though there is enough food there to feed them all if they want. There is a sense of private time between them, a quiet lull as they are both pulled into each other's worlds with no regard for what's going on around them.

"Thank you."

Spencer's reply is just as soft, as he reaches for one of the tubs. He hasn't really been thinking about food, hasn't eaten in hours, and knows that he and Zack ought to go home with the food, where they can sit in comfort.

Zack gives him a few minutes to scoff down the beginnings of the food, to stop looking quite as pale and like he could fall over any moment before suggesting just that.

Reid nods in reply. He signals to Hotch that he is going, who tells him not to bother coming in early. They are almost certainly on suspension, after the events of that day.

Zack picks up of the food cartons for him and Spencer to take, but leaves the rest; Garcia knows that they are for everyone, and will dish them out satisfactory. He and Spencer walk out together, close, shoulders almost touching as if they are leaning on each other for support.

"I just, I can't believe she's alive."

Zack is quiet. It almost feels like a betrayal, the fact that he has long suspected she wasn't really, actually, truly dead.

"I can't believe JJ and Hotch covered it up so long. I can't believe they didn't feel they could tell us."

His tone is ever slightly angrier. Just a hint of sharpness, enough to make Zack worry that this could take a long time to get over.

"Sweets chose not to inform Dr. Brennan that Agent Booth was still alive in order to conduct a social experiment on them."

Reid looks closely at Zack, who is straight faced, as always. "Of course."

He sighs.

"You've had this happen before."

Resolute, resigned. Zack reaches out to touch Spencer's shoulder gently, in what he hopes counts as a reassuring gesture.

Luckily, he accepts it, smiling back at Zack.

"Yes."

"How do you cope?"

"You asked me that before. I still don't have an answer for you Spencer." Zack breaks his eyes away from Reid. "I had other concerns."

Gormogon still ways heavily over Zack, even though they are slowly making progress.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

Ring.

The Elevator has reached the ground.

Wordlessly, silently, they exit. Tonight, they have each other, and they are swiftly discovering that, really, that might just be enough.


End file.
